#YesAllWomen

I don't usually like to jump on the bandwagon and beat a dead horse (ew), but this is something that really moved me. A 22-year-old just murdered people because he couldn't handle rejection. I know that's probably an oversimplification of a more complex situation, but essentially that's what it is.

I heard part of the kid's videos. It made me sick to my stomach to hear him so calmly talk about taking revenge because he couldn't get a girlfriend. Because of course it's not him - it's everyone else that's the problem.

You can blame it on whatever you want - a mental illness, the general disintegration of society - but the simple fact is that this guy believed wholeheartedly that he was owed something. He was owed a pretty girl to be his and his alone.

Here's the deal, guys - you are not owed anything. You are not entitled to have a woman. Do you deserve love? Probably. I think everyone does. But there is a HUGE difference between deserving something and being entitled to something. I'm addressing all men here, but I know there are plenty of men out there who know this is wrong. Unfortunately, it's not all of them. But at some point, all women have felt uncomfortable/threatened by a man.

Yes, all women.

Why should I have had to lie and say I had a boyfriend in high school when I was asked to a dance by someone I didn't want to go with? A guy could have just said "no" but no isn't good enough from a girl. (Coincidentally, the guy that asked me was arrested not too long ago for attempted rape... there was a damn good reason I said no.)

Why should I have felt like wearing a fake wedding/engagement ring was more comforting than just being able to say no? Because some other guy "owns" me, that makes it okay? It should be enough for me to say no, that I don't want to go out with you. That's not necessarily a reflection on you... maybe I'm not interested in dating, or maybe I'm not into dudes. You don't know, and it shouldn't matter.

Women shouldn't have to feel like they have to make an excuse or give a fake phone number. We should be able to say no without feeling bad or guilty. We shouldn't have to deal with guys like this, men who think we should be happy to be with them, that they are owed a woman and a sexual relationship. Too many women have it far worse than what I do, and something needs to be done about it. The position of women in society is a total mess. Hell, we can't even get congress to agree that we deserve equal pay.

The problem is larger than this one guy. We need change.

It's a Sign...

Sometimes the universe just sends you a pretty blatantly obvious sign about what you should be doing.

Lately, I've had a little more time to work on my own personal stuff and not just work. There are plenty of nights that I don't feel like doing anything because I'm just completely drained from working all day, reading and proofing and stressing about whether or not I missed something really obvious and stupid because I'm the only proofreader in the company. There were a few weeks where I was working 8 hours and bringing stuff home to work on because there just weren't enough hours, and I have to at least be here for my dogs. Anyway, the last couple of weeks haven't been as intense and crazy, so I've been able to come home and do some outlining and writing. And watch the Lizzie Bennett Diaries. And organize my desk. And... well, you get the point. I get distracted when I have something to do and time to do it.

Yesterday, on my way home from work, I popped in to Staples to grab another Moleskine notebook. I should probably preface that by letting you know that I have a serious problem when it comes to office supplies... notebooks and pens in particular. Hey, when you spend a lot of time using something, you develop an obsession with appreciation for the good ones. So I had a coupon for a free pen if I spent so much on other Moleskine stuff, and I thought, hey, I like those pens and the notebooks, why not? When I got to the register and the girl scanned everything, a receipt printed. I owed nothing. She checked with the manager, and the guy looked at my receipt, shrugged, and handed it back to her, saying that it was fine because it must have been a coupon glitch.

I walked out with $20+ of free stuff because of a coupon glitch.

And then I started thinking...

The reason I decided to pop in for some flashy new writing materials was because I'd been working on some ideas and thought a good motivator would be a pretty new notebook to write in. The fact that I got them for free by accident made me think that the universe was trying to tell me to get writing already. It's funny how things work sometimes...

With that said, I think I'm going to go break in my new writing stuff and get started on sorting out characters and plot lines. It's all just kind of a jumble in my head right now, so I need to make sure I get it out on paper before I forget it all.

Here's to a good idea finally getting some attention!